Lesson 2 – Take 2. I have given everything I see in this room [on this street, from this window, in this place] all the meaning that it has for me.

Yesterday was Lesson 2. So many insights!

I don’t know why this one continues to surprise me, but it does.  EVERYTHING I see wrong in others is a lesson for myself.  I have been projecting that other Course students should actually DO the lessons.  So my first insight was – I was really telling myself that it was past time for ME to re-DO these lessons!

I was pretty sure I would breeze through the first half of the book.  After all…. I have it!  I know this stuff.

I love this quote from the Course – and I need to keep it with me always.  It will remind me of just how much I really do know:

T-14.XI.12. Those who remember always that they know nothing, and who have become willing to learn everything, will learn it. But whenever they trust themselves, they will not learn. They have destroyed their motivation for learning by thinking they already know. Think not you understand anything until you pass the test of perfect peace, for peace and understanding go together and never can be found alone.

My measuring stick for this journey in 2013!

I have to say…. in many, many areas of my life, I experience peace.  More peace than I would ever have thought possible ten years ago.  I have kept some areas apart, though.  Weight has always been one of those.  I have often wondered… if weight were no longer an issue, what would my main issue be?  This morning I woke up and before starting off on Lesson 3, I gave Lesson 2 one more look.  I have given everything in this room all the meaning it has for me….. Hum… just what meaning have I given my fat?

I started writing, and the results caused me to laugh out loud.  Which is a great thing for me, since my big 2013 objective is JOY along with Peace and Love.  This is probably way too personal to put on a blog, but … we are all one… we all know everything any way… and maybe someone someday will also get a laugh out of this.

What Meaning Have I given my Fat (feel free to substitute finances!) Correct Perception (as I can best understand it at this point in my learning)
I don’t have control I have total control over everything.  My thoughts create my illusion.
I am greedy – I take more than my due As a perfect creation of a perfect creator, I have been given everything.  My due is everything.
I must dull my senses to feel good My natural state is Joy.  If I am not in a state of Joy, my thoughts are wrong-minded.
I am (guilty, slothful, shameful) because I eat too much and move too little.  I don’t deserve to be thin because I am not consistent and don’t have the willpower to do what is necessary to be thin. I am a perfect creation of a perfect creator.  I need do nothing.
My past sins make it nearly impossible to remedy the situation The Holy Spirit will correct all errors if I surrender them to Him.
It will take so much time to take my fat off – I will have to pay high dividends.  It takes so long to get it off – not long to put it back on.  Sacrifice is required for a long stretch followed by deprivation thereafter.   I’ll fail eventually, I’m not consistent.  Why bother? What I eat makes no difference.  Sacrifice is not of God.  Time is an illusion.  There is no order of difficulty in Miracles.  It is not what I eat.  It is what I think.T-2.VI.4.  You are much too tolerant of mind wandering, and are passively condoning your mind’s miscreations.
I am greedy – shameful – I take more than I need.  I need to wear this externally so that everyone knows my sins and can judge me and stone me so that I can take my punishment here, and be spared the wrath of God. I am a perfect creation of a perfect creator. I am perfect. Judgment is not an attribute of God. My thoughts create my illusions.

I am, or have been, MUCH TOO TOLERANT OF MIND WANDERING.  It is past time to erase Column A and stick with Column B.  It will be interesting to me to see what my life, internal and external, looks like this time next year.  I am very excited to be doing the lessons again.  I would have sworn I kept nothing back the first time. This trip, I am going to keep my measuring stick closer!

 

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